Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
