You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
