so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
