the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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