we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
