Dual....:-)
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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