Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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