I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
