it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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