your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
