walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
