Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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