Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
