the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
