We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
