We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
