Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
