Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
