Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
