So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
