I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
