She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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