One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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