I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
