Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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