windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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