i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
