ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
