This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
