Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
