Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
