I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
