I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
