he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
