That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
