Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
