Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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