now i know why i became what i already was.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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