highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
