Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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