its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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