I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
