I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
