please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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