just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
