Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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