peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You've changed since you got that strap on
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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