If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
