I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize