What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize