Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Terrible idea I love it
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
