I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you would pick up someone in the library
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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