They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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