I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
