I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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