I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm too high and old for this...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
