But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
