Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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