Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
