I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I need moral support for this bender
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
