I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
