dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
