I'd wear matching sweaters with you
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
