went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
