White coat. Heels.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
